The End

Wow, guys, I kinda failed at that series thing.  Please, allow me to apologize with two "this one time's" for you, today, then I'll be done with the series.
  
This one time, I watched my dad flip his bike over a hole in a sandpit. It was hilarious.
 

This one time, I broke two hurdles in a one race. Talk about power.

 
 
Go back through this week's posts.  They're all true.  Now look at them, and tell me you can't laugh maniacally at at least one of them. 
 
I dare you to guess how they happened.

This one time, I read four full-length novels in eight hours.  Sweet heavens, what a day.

I'm sorry if this one is bending the rules a little bit.  Brace yourself for part four.

This one time, I pooped 28 times in 4 days. You'd better believe they were full loads.

For more wonderful information on the sweet world of rumps, go to: http://ngcmn.blogspot.com/2014/04/lemme-tell-you-about-butts.html#more

This one time, I consumed six Mcdoubles and a large-sized Coke in thirty minutes.  That's 2,180 calories, kids!

Hooray for part two!

This one time, I woke up on a professional-league baseball field.  My head was in a puddle of water about an inch deep.

This Is a Series

Hello!  I've missed you all!
 
Okay, I have a mission for both of us today.  For you, it's that you have to read this post, and every other post on this site.  Show me some lovin', cuz we all know you want to.
 
My mission, on the other hand, is to start this wonderful series! 
 
"But don't series have multiple issues?" you may ask.  Well, duh, of course they do.  This is called "the first installment," and it would look pretty stupid if it didn't have an intro, right?  Right.
 
I've been going back and forth in my head about doing full posts this summer, and the resounding answer has been (as I'm sure you can tell) is, "Uh, heck no."  It's not even just because I'm lazy (I'm working up to sixty hours per week here, people), but mostly because I like running around outside like the little kid I am.  The compromise here is to do some week-long series, like this one.  (And I know it's a little late in the summer to start now, but I don't see any of you helping me out, so yeah.)
 
This first series is called "This One Time. . . " and I'm sure in about three seconds you'll figure out why.
 
 
 

This one time, I cried because my mom got a perm.

My Return

It's been awhile since I've been on here, huh?  Well, to those of you who care (and I know you all do), I'm sorry I've not been up with the writing.  Some things get in the way, like work, school, my second job, that thing I'm supposed to do but spend all day trying to avoid (I think it's called my blog or something stupid like that).  Just been a rough time.

I'm not promising any consistency, ya greedy little turdsuckers, but I will tell you I'm not completely done.  I do like ranting and blathering about pointless topics (coming soon:  an article about a vampiric sea creature who uses its sustenance as poison), but I don't have the ability.

Before I keep repeating myself, what I'm trying to say is, I still want to tell you things.  I still want to be there for you, when you're on the toilet or after a long day when you're so tired you'll laugh at anything.  I'll keep writing on here, honing my skills.  Maybe someday you'll see me on Cracked.  Or maybe you'll just choose to learn everything from me.  I think I'd like that.

Now, I'll let you go get some crackers for all this cheese (that means I'm being cheesy, guys), but make sure you do come back soon.  I'll be waiting.