Allergies

Spring. . . the time when the snow melts and the deciduous trees' leaves bud.  Temperatures rise, and. . . everyone starts sneezing. 

This is a pretty obvious phenomenon; when plants' pollens permeate the air, people who don't have immunity inhale and begin an extremely complicated reaction based on an evolutionary weakness.  This is what we, in the advanced scientific community, call an "allergy."

Emil Zatopek, the World's Fastest Czech

Biennially, the nations of the world come together to prove they're the best. . . in sports.  This year just so happens to hold the winter Olympics in Sochi, Russia, but this is not a story about sliding down a snowy hill. 

This is about one of the greatest Olympians of the Modern Games.  No, it's not Jesse Owens, who broke five records in forty-five minutes.  It's not Usain Bolt, the greatest human sprinter in the history of the planet.  No current Olympian shares such perfection, such ridiculous luck, as that of Emil Zatopek.

If you've never heard the name, you probably shouldn't be surprised.  He didn't do much when he competed, except BREAK WORLD RECORDS OVER AND OVER. 

The Wrath of The Bottle

This, my friends, is not a story for the faint of heart. Proceed with caution, and prepare your souls.

About two weeks ago, I made a truly arduous trek to my parents' house to pick up some letters and victuals. As I was leaving, my mother offered me apple juice and soda, one bottle of each. I graciously accepted these gifts and drove to my home, allowing the drinks to lie in the back of my vehicle.

One week ago, I traveled to work, still with my beverages resting in the back, icing over in the frosty winter weather. I had packed a lunch for the day but upon arrival realized I had forgotten a small drink. The reasonable beverage to take from the car probably should've been the apple juice, but I felt adventurous. I, against all sense, grabbed the soda. It did cross my mind at the time that my choice might have been erroneous, but I was enamored, completely captivated even, by the promise of its sweet, sweet flavor.

The apple juice is a bit player in all of this,

Resolutions Are as Hard as Titles

2014 is roughly 11% over as I write this and almost half of Americans (that's 150 million people) made New Year's Resolutions. I don't know how these people chose the resolutions they did, but when the ball dropped, all of them stepped out to say, "Hey! I'm a bad person, but in <insert whatever year is starting> I'm gonna do <something awesome> and everyone will know I'm a hero!"